Radio Shack Does It Again

UPDATE: I noticed over the weekend the Cumberland Farms on King Street, the same place that scans the driver's license of anyone, regardless of age, who buys tobacco, and therefore is already heavily invested in the gathering customer data game, if they'd ask for my phone number if I bought a Go Phone. "No," the clerk said with a puzzled look on his face. "Why would anyone do that?"

I hesitated to write about this for fear of governmental reprisal, but then I realized that "they" probably already know, so what's the harm?

But first a little background. The most suspicious person I know is my brother; and by suspicious, I mean it in the sense of he is suspicious of other people and entities not (necessarily) in the sense that he is someone to be suspicious of. What do I base this assessment on? Well, here's just one reason: it wasn't until last year that my mother found out his real address. For the 15 years or so that he has lived in Virginia, he's been giving his everyone his Mailboxes Etc.-type address for mail and other things.

My brother is six years older than I am, and when we were growing up, I was fascinated by all of the electrical gizmos he made. At one point, he'd created a push-button panel right next to his bed from which he could control all of the electrical things in his room. In the days before the Clapper, this was cutting-edge stuff. And I'm crediting him for introducing me to Radio Shack. I don't know in what context exactly, but I've always associated him with Radio Shack. So, given his libertarian bent, I also just naturally assumed that Radio Shack was on board with that. (I know what you're thinking: Radio Shack is the company that used to ask for your name and address any time you bought anything. I'm not saying I'm smart here--I'm just sharing what I believed.)

So a few days ago I went into Radio Shack for a cell phone battery. It all started when I got an iPhone for (myself) for Father's Day. My kids told me that my wife had lost her cell phone, so as I was going through the iPhone process, I had them make my old cell phone my wife's new cell phone. And everyone was happy, until the battery in that cell phone died. I took it to the AT&T store in Northampton, and they told me that I could either go to Radio Shack and buy a battery or buy a Go Phone. So, off to Radio Shack I went.

They didn't have any cell phone batteries in the store (a not-uncommon occurrence if you've tried to buy anything at Radio Shack) and the woman helping me said that I could just order one online. As I headed outside to ponder my options, I spotted the Go Phone display and decided to go that route. As she unlocked the display to give me one, the saleswoman said, "You know, AT&T will know that you're using a Go Phone and cancel your service." That seemed a bit odd, since it was an AT&T employee who'd told me to do this. "I'll take my chances," I said.

So we walked over to the register and she began the checkout procedure. She hit a few keys on the computer and then asked, "Phone number?"

"Wait a second," I said. "Why do you need my phone number?"

She literally threw up her arms and let her head fall back so that she was looking at the ceiling. You'd have thought that I asked her to inventory every battery in the store or something.

"The system needs your phone number," she said.

"The 'system'? What system?"

"The government," she said.

"The 'government'? Why does the government need my phone number, and can you tell me what government rule says that Go Phone purchasers have to provide a phone number?"

At this point she brought over another salesperson to help her out.

He walked over to me, spread his arms out and intoned, "It's the PATRIOT Act."

My first thought was to ask him to tell me exactly where in the 800-plus page PATRIOT Act it says that Radio Shack has to get my phone number, when I remembered my brother and one thing he taught me: it helps to have an alias for situations like this.

So, to speed the process along, I duly gave them what they asked for: a phone number. And I got my Go Phone.

But I left with my confidence in Radio Shack severely shaken.
I suppose the real question, however, is not why I go to Radio Shack, but why I will most likely go back to Radio Shack.