Is It So, Papi?

I'm not a Red Sox fan. I am a Yankee fan. The fact that my sports-mad children, steeped as they are in all things New England when it comes to sports, are Red Sox fans is a great source of discomfort (read: it pisses me off), but I really have no one to blame but myself, since I made the decision to move to Massachusetts from New Jersey in 2001.

But given my anti-Red Sox leanings, I can take no joy in the recent news that David Ortiz was on the list of Major League Baseball players who tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs in 2003. Over the years, David Ortiz has been a Yankee killer, and the fact that he often spits on his batting gloves kind of grosses me out, but in general, I like David Ortiz. He's a big man with a big smile and, from all appearances, a big heart. I really find it hard NOT to like him. At the first game I ever went to at Fenway, Ortiz hit a home run in the bottom of the last inning to beat the Orioles. I was rooting hard against the Sox that day, but it was thrilling to see him win one in such an exciting fashion.

And it's not hard to see why kids love Big Papi, my kids included. And I think that's what upsets me most about the news, how it will affect the kids. When Manny was suspended 50 games, it was easy for my kids to label him a cheater because they'd already decided not to like him any more because he's no longer on the Red Sox roster. Big Papi is still very much a part of the team.

I should say that I've long been bothered by baseball's tendency to play fast and loose with the rules. And I'm not talking here about individual players who choose to break the rules, but the institutional imperative to wink at the infraction, mostly because that's they way it's always been done. I'm talking about the "neighborhood" play at second on a double play. I'm talking about how the first batter in the game usually takes great pains to erase the back line in the batter's box so that subsequent batters can cheat back a bit. And this happens right in front of the umpire. And here's perhaps the most memorable instance: in the famous pine tar game, George Brett's bat did have too much pine tar in it, but American League president Lee MacPhail ruled that it didn't violate the "spirit of the rules."

In other words, there's breaking the rules and there's breaking the rules. One you can do, the other you can't.

Which is why, I suppose, baseball players can use caffeine, over-the-counter painkillers, herbs, energy drinks, whatever, and not risk running afoul (bad pun alert!) of the performance-enhancing drug rules. And, of course, everyone in baseball has basically agreed to look the other way when it comes to amphetamines in the sport. But when someone gets caught having taken steroids, all hell breaks loose.

I'm not condoning steroid use, but I can't help but think that we're in this mess because years ago, baseball never quite figured out the best way to enforce its own rules. And that means that parents like me get a lot of exercise doing explanatory gymnastics when we have to explain to our children why Barry Bonds is in trouble not for taking steroids, but for lying about it, and why Manny was suspended but Big Papi won't be, and how just because he won't be punished doesn't mean that what Ortiz did was not wrong.

Just as I have to take the blame for my sons' becoming Red Sox fans, I think all baseball fans--and all sports fans in general--have to take some of the blame for allowing our favorite pastimes to become the farces that they are today.

So, I take no joy in the Red Sox's misfortune, if a rising tide lifts all boats, an ebbing tide puts all boats at risk and makes everything smell fishy.