I Think I Might Be

Five months ago, I ran the Hartford Marathon. A few weeks ago I got my finishers' certificate from that race, which officially documented my 1686th place finish.

I mention this because tomorrow I'll be running in my first race since the marathon, the 34th Holyoke St. Patrick's Road Race. Now, I did participate in the Hot Chocolate Run last December, but I stayed alongside my five-year-old for that one, so I don't really consider that racing. Tomorrow, I'll be racing.

So, I've been training for the race over the past couple of weeks and today I find myself wondering if I'm really a runner--you know, the type of a person who, well, I don't really know what a runner is, other than a person who runs a lot for no real good reason other than the fact that he enjoys it. But I don't know if that describes me, because I've got bad knees and I'm overweight and I wasn't really happy with how I finished the Marathon (I didn't break the five-hour mark) and I get really annoyed at people who can run a lot faster than I can, even when they haven't been running at all and I've been training for weeks.

Maybe a better way to think of myself is as a runner-in-training, someone who runs with the goal of getting better.

Maybe I shouldn't be thinking this way at all and just get on with it.

Either way, I plan on being at the starting line tomorrow at 1:00 with 3,000 other runners, participating in one of the biggest races in Massachusetts outside of the Boston Marathon. Last year when I ran this race, there was plenty of support from people in Holyoke, including one guy who jumped out from the crowd and sprinted with some racers in a effort to share his flask, and one house that set up a table full of cups of beer, if water wasn't your drink of choice. And last year it was really, really cold, so this year, with warmer temperatures, I'm expecting an even more raucous crowd.

In the end, I guess it doesn't matter if I'm a runner or not. What matters is enjoying myself and making it to the finish line with a decent time.

If I can do that, the Guinness at the finish will taste all that much sweeter, and I don't have to debate myself over whether or not I'm a drinker.